Cougarville?

I had so many topics to write about today, and perhaps I will find a way to incorporate them or save for another day (which is impossible because I am impatient chicken and have to get everything out immediately - word vomit). This morning has been entirely too productive, and I feel the need to share such comedy and entertainment with the world. I would hate to deprive people I know of the humor I experience on a daily basis.



This morning, as I drove Shawn's car with the XM radio, which mine doesn't have because my car sucks but I'm not bitter, I was listening to the 90's station. Sidecar: The first time I heard of a 90's station, I nearly had heart failure. I mean, 90's is now so distant that we have stations and club nights dedicated to all things of that decade? Am I really that old? Anyway, I was listening to the station on my way to work, and what should be playing? "Pump Up the Jam". Is this one of the ultimate 90's "pump it up" songs, or what? As many times as I've heard it (overkill), and as cheesy as it has become, I simply could not bring myself to change the channel. Besides, "Dead and Gone" was on all the other stations - one was playing the radio version, another playing the club remix, and still another playing the instrumental T-Lake piano-only version. You can only hear Justin sing "I've been battling down this road too long..." so many times in one sitting.



Back to the lecture at hand...

So I'm listening to "Pump Up the Jam", my foot can't stop tap-tap-tapping, tap-tap-tapping, and I'm on my way to work thinking - THIS song should be streamed into the office every morning as people arrive. It doesn't have to be loud, just loud enough to get the foot tapping and blood flowing before we start our day. I even thought that maybe we could all engage in some office calisthenics before selling our little hearts out. (BTW - Bucs Season Tix - pick-a-seat May 15-16th)



I then changed the station to the 80's channel only to hear one of my all-time favorites - "Maniac" from the movie Flashdance. I have deemed this my personal theme song. Let me tell you, it took every ounce of me NOT to get out of the car and start twirling around in the classic Jennifer Beals Maniac run in my office parking lot. No, I had to suppress my dancing energy and go into the office, where no "Pump Up the Jam" was playing as I had hoped. Sigh.



I come into the office and speak to my "niece," Amy. I quickly send an email to the cool kids (all 25 and under) and tell them about my ideas for "Pump Up the Jam" and "Maniac" and I proceed to ask them about their personal theme songs. Amy reminds me that "Pump Up the Jam", the Space Jam remix, is a better mix for the song than the original. She stared at me dumbfounded when I told her I never saw the movie Space Jam. She says, "How can that be?" I proceed to tell her I was 19-20 years old when the movie came out, and she quickly reminds me she was 10. Thanks.



I then realize that she probably has never even heard of the movie Flashdance or the song "Maniac" because, oh ya, she wasn't even BORN when it came out. I was 7. I had to BEG my parents to let me watch the movie, and they didn't even allow me to watch it until I was 10, or maybe older, so I had already fallen in love with the soundtrack but had no reference because I wasn't allowed to watch the movie!



Now, I have to laugh, because I was not allowed to see the movie at age 7 as a result of the stripping and the two times they dropped an F-bomb, yet my children will be born into strip club mania because Tampa has one on every corner next to every grocery store and Kinder Care. It's pretty amazing how things have changed.



So, Amy and I continue to discuss the phenomenon that is Space Jam, and MJ in his early days. We move on to the topic of MJ, and Amy expresses her disdain for him, not as an athlete, but as a cocky, pompous, philanderer (ok, those last two were my words). We are then reminded of an interesting story that Neep told me, and I passed on to the next generation (Amy). Just call me a modern day Aesop, if you will. We discussed the story again (you'll have to wait for my memoirs), and I guestimated that this event occurred probably somewhere around 1990-92, when Amy was 5-6 years old. She continues to ask me how old Neep is, and says (sorry, Neep), "Oh - she's a cougar."



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Um...what?!?!?



I said, "UH, NOOOOO!!! A cougar is FORTY!" She says, "Noooo. A cougar is 35 and older." Am I wrong to be arguing with a 22-year-old about this? So, I proceed to tell her that I am a cougar, and she says I am not because I'm not 35...yet. I tell her that I am when it comes to Jacoby or Rondo (whom I would never actually like, but I just LOVE Rondo - he's the bomb - another triple double last night, THANK YOU! and did you see that dunk?!?!), and she gives me a weird look.





This has been my day thus far, and it's only 10am. I can't wait to see what is in store after lunch.